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Self-Forgiveness

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Self-Forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research
CUON506-B13
September 25, 2011

Self-Forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research is an article that focuses on the importance of comparing and contrasting interpersonal forgiveness as well as intrapersonal forgiveness. Not only does this article emphasizes the definitions and classifications of self-forgiveness, but also identifies the emotional and social cognitive determents, the limitations and implications self-forgiveness may trigger. Julie Hall and Frank Fincham composed this article with great detail and research to analyze the importance of self-forgiveness and examining the conventional issues that must be directed when considering the suitability of self-forgiveness. This article evaluates the components of self-forgiveness through a model that outlines its implications through research. Guilt, shame, attributions, conciliatory behavior, perceived forgiveness from victim or higher power, and severities of the offense are some of the many processes that constitute self-forgiveness. These processes causes the offender or the offended to account to more positive reprimands and fewer ongoing negative reprimands of the transgression than do offenders who have not forgiven themselves. Hall and Fincham explain that three levels of self-forgiveness and self-respect must ensue to involve restoration. First, self-forgiveness requires an objective fault or wrongdoing; second, negative feelings triggered by this offender must be overcome; and, third, and internal acceptance of oneself must be achieved. (Hall & Fincham, 2005) This means that in self-forgiveness, the offender acknowledges his or her essential worth and its sovereignty for his or her contravention. Self-forgiveness is also analogous with interpersonal forgiveness, in that it is different from disregarding or overlooking a transgression. To exonerate, is not to say that one’s behavior was tolerable or should be unnoticed, it also should be an attentive attempt that does not appear inadvertently. I feel that this article is a direct representation of the way people view self-forgiveness. Some may not view self-forgiveness as a foundation for the actual process of forgiving. Few may believe that the act of forgiving is contingent upon the one who offends and not the offender. I feel that self-forgiveness is vital for both the offender and the offended. Reason being is that the focus of the forgiveness can be understood and the behaviors between both parties can reconcile its “revenge” between another. Some may believe that self-forgiveness is an ordinary apprehension – and disparagement of self-help psychology – is that self-forgiveness is a flamboyant, politically correct, socially customary way of letting ourselves “off the hook” by ducking responsibility and individual blame. I feel that is far from true, in fact I believe that self-forgiveness is the innate starting place for anyone who wants to manage a moral life as uninhibited from insincerity as is humanly feasible. I believe that this article describes the determinants of self-forgiveness accurately and precise. According to Hall and Fincham self-forgiveness has raised to concerns when addressing the appropriateness. The first is whether self-forgiveness is justified when an individual has committed a truly heinous offense, and the second concern is that is it a sign of disrespect toward the victim, and thus only appropriate after the offender is granted forgiveness by the victim. (Hall & Fincham, 2005) I feel that when an offender concedes and accepts responsibility for the transgression and is prepared to genuinely express regret or make amends to the victim, self-forgiveness is not a sign of disrespect. Be that as it may once a crime is committed against someone “I’m sorry” won’t take away the pain nor will it correct wrongdoing, but it can alleviate some of the anguish and sorrow inside you within certain aspects. Hall and Fincham also state that attempts to forgive oneself without cognitively and emotionally processing the transgression and its consequences are likely to lead to denial, suppression, or pseudo self-forgiveness. (Hall & Fincham, 2005) The act of self-forgiveness is a technique that requires an immense deal of inner strength and causes the offender to be released of fault and is able to feel and act compassionately toward the self. After reading this article I’ve learned that self-forgiveness is a process. One must both unequivocally or unconditionally acknowledge that one’s behavior was erroneous and acknowledge accountability or fault for the behavior. The comprehension of wrongdoing and acceptance of liability usually commence feelings of remorse and repentance, which must be fully knowledgeable before one should move toward self-forgiveness. I think that the title of this article depicts the nature of this reflection: “the stepchild of forgiveness”. The stepchild is often portrayed as forgotten and abandoned, and Hall and Fincham unveiled a lot of truth in self-forgiveness and how people overlook that and go straight to forgiveness. I feel that if self-forgiveness was taken more seriously, interpersonal forgiveness within the Christian tradition would lead to more souls, minds, hearts, and bodies within the church. Often people forget that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future and see self-forgiveness as impertinence or arrogant. I see it as a step to build a relationship with God, yourself and the people that you have harmed and have harmed you.

Reference
Hall, J. H., & Fincham, F. D. (2005). Self-forgiveness: the stepchild of forgiveness research. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24(5), 621-637.…...

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